MCU Shorties
by Evil Little Dog
Summary: Ficlets based in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, with an emphasis on the Iron Man and Avengers movies. Expect to see a lot of Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Natasha Romanoff, and appearances by others.
1. Dance Steps

**Title: ** Dance Steps

**Author: **Evil_Little_Dog

**Rating:** K+

**Disclaimer:** This is a derivative work, and, as such, I make absolutely no money writing this. Darn the luck.

**Summary: **Loki's cost NYC too much money. Again. Pepper has a solution.

**Notes**:Written for the Live Journal community, Comment_Fic.

* * *

Loki couldn't leave well enough alone. Well enough and leave and alone all meant he came back to bother with the Avengers. Tony really hated that, because, you know, he'd made New York City his home now, and Loki seemed determined to wreck it. And for some reason, when Loki wrecked NYC, some people wanted the Avengers to pay for wreckage - even if it wasn't their fault (mostly) it was caused in the first place.

But they'd managed to capture Loki (again), and had him prisoner, and were discussing what to do with him next. Thor, of course, wanted to take him home. Brotherly affection, yadda yadda yadda, and he was right, no Terran jail could hold Loki. He definitely needed to go somewhere else. But he also needed to pay for his crimes, and you know, also all that destruction.

Loki just smiled that thin-lipped smile of his while they talked around and over and about him. Natasha suggested using his guts to make tennis rackets. Tony nixed that, which made Loki's smile expand.

"Let's be honest, I'd fucking Irish step dance on your grave, you asshole," Tony told Loki, "but I do have respect for Thor." He nodded and Thor nodded back. "In the mean time, you're the one causing all the problems with the city, so I think you should have to pay for it."

"You know it's not like he carries insurance," Bruce said with that wry helpfulness he sometimes got.

"Yeah, but I'd bet he has something worthwhile he can fork over."

"I do not," Loki sighed, looking all too ready for this to be over with.

"You do, too." Pepper Potts had gotten entrance to this little discussion from sheer force of her own personality - very few people argued with Pepper Potts except for Tony Stark, and even he knew she was usually right. "You have something most men would be willing to do anything to save."

Both Loki and Natasha - and everyone else - turned to stare at her. Only Natasha looked _pleased_ with Pepper's threat. The men all grumbled and shifted and crossed their legs. Except Loki, who hissed, "You would never dare."

Pepper smiled. It was almost as cold and ruthless a smile as Loki's worst. "Try me."

And so, Loki gave up the rights to some very fine articles, worth rather a lot of money, and cursed Pepper's name roundly and loudly before Thor could haul him away to Asgard. But as Pepper said, they had more than enough to pay off this round of attacks...and maybe Loki would think twice about coming after them in New York City next time.

* * *

_~ end ~_


	2. The Curse

**The Curse  
**

* * *

"A spell." Pepper repeated the word with the utter flatness of flat.

"Yes. Improbable as it may be." Bruce shrugged, spreading his hands. "Though perhaps not as improbable as it could be, considering some of our friends, yes?"

She turned to stare at Tony Stark, one-time head of Stark Industries, sprawled over a couch with a pizza and chips and a lot of soda. All right, that didn't seem too improbable, but the fact he was watching some cartoon series - something called 'Pinky and the Brain' - and giggling in a high-pitched squeal, well, _that_ was improbable. Not to mention plain weird.

"So...how do we break the curse? No one has to kiss him, right?" she asked Bruce, still staring at Tony.

"Um. No. Well. Maybe?" That made Pepper turn around, fixing him with a stare that made Bruce squirm. Slightly. He smiled. A sickly little smile. "It's a bit more than kissing, it's, um. How to say this." Before Pepper could even start to curl her lip, Bruce went on. "You'll have to have sex with him to break the curse."

"Seriously?"

His even more sickly smile was the answer to her question.

Pepper groaned. "Great. I have to break the curse of teenage Tony with _sex_. Tell me my own life isn't cursed!"


	3. In Her Purse

**In Her Purse  
**

* * *

There are, of course, the things a woman always has in her purse: money, preferably in a wallet, so the change doesn't spill all over the place, her keys, a handkerchief, a packet of Beeman's chewing gum.

Also, tucked inside a pocket that isn't exactly visible, she carries a pocket knife and a small lockpick kit. She'd carry a gun, but it weighs down a purse, and it's harder to get to there rather than if she wears it strapped to her thigh or in the small of her back. And, finally, there's a tube of lipstick and an extra pair of panty hose, because a woman simply has to be prepared for any contingency.


	4. Put Yourself In the Hands Of

**Put Yourself In the Hands Of  
**

* * *

Pepper wasn't sure when exasperation had changed to trust in regard to Tony. There'd been the whole 'him missing' thing, and 'him returning and building a giant metal suit' thing, and 'nearly getting killed by Obidiah' thing, and 'the Hammer thing', and 'the Avengers thing', and then the big thing, Extremis. Somewhere, in the midst of all that, she'd realized she did trust Tony. And yes, he did still exasperate her, but that was because he could be so flip and obnoxious and far too much like a teenage boy in his tastes sometimes.

But putting her life in his hands was still a scary thing, and Pepper hoped she didn't catch something on fire, or make Tony – or his workshop – explode, or worse.

"Stop jittering."

Pepper laced her fingers together, trying to still them. It made her knee bounce instead.

"Sit still." Tony leaned down to glare directly in her eyes. "This is important. I have to get it right." He pulled some sort of scanner down to her level. "Honey, I need you to lie back now, and breathe. In and out, nice and slow. You do yoga, don't you?"

"No," Pepper said. She lay down, lacing her hands together over her stomach, then unlacing them and dropping them to her side. Then tucking them up under her head.

"Huh. I would've thought you did yoga." Tony caught one of her hands, smoothing his fingers over her knuckles and kissing them before laying it at her side. "Seems like a Pepper thing to do. Well. Pretend like you've taken yoga, and you know how to breathe properly."

"I know how to breathe properly!" Pepper snapped, half-sitting up.

Tony tapped her on the end of her nose. "What did I say? Lie down. And breathe. I know this is scary, honey," he went on in a different tone of voice, busying himself with his notepad while Pepper rearranged herself on the table. "I'm scared, too. What if I get something wrong?" He glanced at her. "Of course, I won't. But that's not saying it won't take a couple of tries."

Pepper lay back down, not happy when a couple of straps came up over her stomach and chest. "Tony!"

"Thoroughly for precaution's sake, Pepper. I don't want you moving around during the scan." The look he gave her showed his worry. "Nothing's going to go wrong," he repeated, more to himself than to her.

"You mean, you'll get something wrong and try again."

"That is kind of what scientists do. But I nearly got this once, and I'm a lot smarter now than I was back then. Less booze and recreational stuff." Tony flashed a smile. "So. We're ready. Jarvis, will you start the scan?"

"Of course, Mr. Stark," Jarvis said, and the A.I.'s smooth voice settled Pepper more than Tony had. She did try to take even breaths, and focus on something other than the scanner moving slowly over her body.

"You okay?"

"Fine, Tony," she started to say, gagging instead.

"Pep?"

Pepper spat out, "Whatever it is, it tastes like burning!"

"I know, well, I didn't know, but I suspected, and it won't last long, if you can just stay still a little bit longer, honey," Tony said, and out of the corner of her eye, she could see him patting the air at her.

Swallowing hard, Pepper tried to obey, to stay still. Finally, the taste in her mouth faded and the straps popped loose as Jarvis said, "Scan complete, Miss Potts."

She sat up so fast, the straps hadn't even retreated into the table. "Are we done here?"

Tony offered her his hand to help her stand up. She almost didn't take it, but then she did. His fingers were cold under hers. "I'm sorry, Pepper," he said.

Pepper smiled, knowing it didn't reach her eyes. When Tony tugged, she let him pull her closer. He wrapped his arms around her, kissing her cheek. She hugged him back, almost clinging to him. She had to have faith Tony could help her. Even if he could be a brat, she trusted him to figure out a way for her to control Extremis.

And, if he didn't? Maybe she would take that yoga class.


	5. It's All in the Dress

**It's All in the Dress  
**

* * *

Pepper eyed Natasha's reflection in the mirror. She looked hot, Pepper had to admit, with enough cleavage to definitely catch the eye. Pepper knew she looked good, too, but coming up against Natasha Romanov was like walking onto a beach in a fifties-style bathing suit when everyone else wore bikinis.

"What?" Natasha asked, quirking an eyebrow at her.

Pepper's startle at the question came in the form of a blink – enough to make Natasha smirk. Pepper frowned in response – she seriously wasn't afraid of Natasha, despite Tony's stories about her. "You look good," she said. "Really, really good."

Natasha's smirk grew as she surveyed herself in the mirror. "I let them out for special occasions," she said, turning away from her reflection and starting for the door. "It's a great way to gain control of the conversation…or, well," she hesitated, glancing over her shoulder, "men in general. Not that you really need me to tell you that."

Reviewing herself in the mirror, Pepper thought Natasha probably had a point. She joined Natasha, smirking back. "Let's go gain control of some men."


	6. Stand Up for What You Believe In

**Stand Up for What You Believe In  
**

* * *

"What's Stark doing?" Clint asked.

"What do you think - talking to reporters." Natasha folded her arms, though she kept a wary eye out. With a hotbed like this, anything could happen.

"Hmm." Clint narrowed his eyes. From this angle, it was difficult, but his eyesight was pretty good. Plus, he knew Stark. "...take a stand with our fellow man...mutants are human, too...Seems like he's taking a - oh." Clint smirked.

"What?" Natasha didn't focus all her attention on him, just a part of it.

"A reporter just asked how Stark thought participation in Mutant Rights would affect Stark Enterprises. Stark said someone has to take a stand sometime, and he'd been protecting the planet long enough to decide to take this one."

"Protecting the planet?" Natasha made a noise deep in her throat.

"Aliens."

"Still."

"And he's working on the palm tree oil thing in South America."

"_Still._"

Clint grinned, not about to argue any longer. "He's coming this way with Rogers on his flank. We'd better get ready for this parade."

"I'd rather watch it," Natasha said. "Seems like an excellent way for someone to put a bullet through our brains."

"Which is why I'm taking the high route. You keep an eye down here, and I'll see you later." Clint squeezed her shoulder and disappeared, almost like that.

Natasha wished she hadn't lost the coin toss. Now she had to listen to Stark and Steve argue the whole parade route. Unless someone took a shot at them.

It was probably wrong to hope for a sniper, but considering the circumstances...


	7. Cannot Unsee

**Cannot Unsee**

**Warning: CRACK.  
**

* * *

Tony dragged his hand down over his face. He was _not_ seeing that. He _wasn't_. Because there wasn't enough brain bleach _in the whole wide fucking **universe**_ to clean his brain out for the image of the Hulk and Loki _making out_ like a pair of teenagers.

"Please tell me when the absolutely horrific PDA is over," he whined. Refusing to look. Because the image of Loki straddling the Hulk's...no. _No._ Not. Going. There. Ever. Again.

"That is unexpected," Natasha said in her best non-nonplussed voice.

Clint responded with a retching sound.

Steve somehow managed to blush out loud. Tony didn't think it was possible. But that Captain America could do it somehow didn't surprise him.

Thor, of course, had something to say. "Loki! Brother! What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?" came the pissy answer and Tony's brain fractured a little bit more. "And if you'd really like a show, you should stick around. He knows a great many tricks and ways to make love-making ever so - "

"Gotta go," Tony announced, loudly, and activated the jets. "Full propulsion, right now, JARVIS."

"Sir," JARVIS said, aggrieved.

"Oh. Oh," Loki said, moaned, what the hell ever, because Tony was zooming out of there as fast as he could.

Not even liquor, drugs, or _Pepper_ could help erase this one.


	8. The Perks of StarkPhones

**The Perks of StarkPhones  
**

* * *

Pepper - Tony. WTH.

Tony - Pepper? Pep? When do you use acronyms to swear in texts messages to me?

Pepper - I do when I want to know what the hell this little monster thing is on my StarkPhone. My. Phone. Tony.

Tony -Oh. That. That's a tamagotchi - a little game. To keep me entertained at work.

Pepper - Do you really need to be entertained at work?

Tony - Well, you yell at me when I watch porn or play Avengers games.

Pepper - This isn't any better, Tony.

Tony - Are you sure?

Pepper - All right. Maybe it's better than the porny Avengers games.

Tony - But those are fun, too, aren't they? Hey, speaking of which, I found a new one, are you doing anything tonight? In the bedroom? We can see just how Black Widow takes down the Hulk.

Pepper - You are such a child, Tony.

Tony - Is that a yes? Pepper? Pep? Is it?

Pepper - Yes.

Tony - ILU.


	9. StarkTech is the Best Tech

**StarkTech is the Best Tech  
**

* * *

"I don't even know why we're having this conversation," Stark said, walking away from them. Not leading, Steve thought, absolutely_ not_, just walking ahead of them. "My phone's the best out there. Absolutely."

"I don't understand why we need a telephone we need to carry everywhere," Steve said.

"Did you say that about walkie-talkies, back in the day?"

Steve tried not to feel uncomfortable about that question.

"Besides," Stark said, not even waiting for an answer, "some of us don't live in the Dark Ages."

"The Other Guy hates the sound of it," Banner said before Steve could respond to the insult.

"I'll work on a subsonic ring for his excellent hearing then."

Banner quirked up a grin. "I'm not sure he'd care. He doesn't like the sound of it."

Stark pouted, rolling his shoulders. "What's not to love? I mean, I put in the sarcastic font for Pepper's texting."

Steve really didn't want to know what else Stark might've put into the telephone. If the way Stark stared at Miss Potts was any indication, it was probably x-rated.


	10. The Pet Tony Can Take Care Of

**The Pet Tony Can Take Care Of  
**

* * *

Tony had never really been interested in pets. They took too much work - dogs had to be trained and walked and fed and someone had to clean the litter boxes for cats and mice and rats were more like test subjects. Horses? Race horses, maybe, that he could throw money at and win money with.

"You don't need a pet," Rhodey said. "You already have those robots and Jarvis."

"Pets are too much work," Tony agreed, pouring them both more whiskey. "But sometimes I come home and my house seems." He pursed his mouth.

"Empty?"

Tony pointed at Rhodey.

"Even with Jarvis and the robots."

Tony blinked a couple of times as he took a drink. "Exactly."

"Fine. Fine. I'll find you a pet. Something even you can take care of."

Tony forgot about it - booze and other, more illicit substances would do that to his memory. But he came home one day to find Rhodey in the house sitting on the couch next to a small cardboard box, air holes punched in the sides.

"What's that?" Tony asked.

"Well, I did a lot of research and I found the best pet for your lifestyle. So I took the liberty of getting it for you."

Tony's eyebrows danced up and he studied the box. "Uh."

"So you'd better take care of that pet." Rhodey gently picked up the box and passed it to Tony.

"Uh."

"The proper words are 'thank you'."

Tony slowly opened the box, expecting something to leap or fly out at him. Instead, there was a leash and a collar wrapped around..."Is this a rock?"

Rhodey grinned, pushing up to his feet and heading for the door. "Only thing I can trust you not to kill, Tony."


	11. Let's Get It On

**Let's Get It On**

* * *

NOTE: Written for a comment fic prompt which is as follows: _MCU, Avengers + their expanded casts, everyone has an on-and-off thing with everyone else, because life is stressful and incestuous in this business, and everyone's fine with that_. If this sort of thing bothers you, even touched upon rather than shown implicitly, skip this story.

* * *

Tony's eyebrows raise. "You and Rhodey?" he asks Pepper.

She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear before using that same hand to stroke his chest. "Jealous?"

"No, shocked. Surprised. You and my best friend."

Pepper snorts and starts ticking off names. "You and Natasha. You and Bruce. Don't tell me you haven't been eyeing up Steve like he's a hunk of beef and you're a hungry lion."

Tony purses his mouth, not denying anything. "Who else?"

"With me?"

There're more? he doesn't ask, but he wants to. Instead, he rolls onto his side, studying his girlfriend. "No, who else with anyone else."

"Well, Steve and someone named Sam. Clint and Natasha, Natasha and Phil - "

"Agent Coulson and Natasha?" Tony's mind boggles.

"I heard about you flirting with Nick Fury - "

"I didn't flirt!"

Pepper's turn to arch her brows and Tony gapes. "You know. You know everything."

"I'm not Natasha." But her cheeks pink up.

"You and Natasha?!" Tony yelps.

"Shut up."

"Pepper. Please." Tony runs his hand over her arm, leans in to give her a loving, warm, hungry kiss before he begs, "Tell me there are pictures."

She shoves a pillow in his face for an answer.


	12. Diplomacy, Thy Name Is

**Diplomacy, Thy Name Is...  
**

* * *

Pepper pinched the bridge of her nose, not even daring to look up. If she looked up, she'd see Tony Stark. If she saw Tony Stark, she was likely to figure a way to take him apart, piece by piece by piece, and then draw and quarter the pieces, burn the remainder, and dance in the ashes.

Rhodey was under no such compulsion because he actually asked, "So, you really said, 'Wrap that up in diplomacy and give it to him, will you'?"

For the note of awe in Rhodey's voice, Pepper mentally added his name to the List Of People Irritating Virginia Potts. Fanboying Tony Stark just encouraged him to do something _worse_ the next time.

"Well, yeah." Tony, of course, sounded perfectly fine with saying something like that.

"To Captain America."

"Uh huh."

"And he didn't punch you in the face."

Pepper had to peek up at that one. She did want to hear Tony's answer. And see his face while he answered. The idiot.

Tony Stark stood in front of them, feet slightly spread, fingertips touching and at waist level, an expression of thoughtfulness on his face. "At the time, _Captain America_ thought the idea of pitching a bomb toward that asshole a pretty good idea." Tony nodded once. "So, no. Now, if I'd said 'democracy', I think there might've been a completely different reaction."

Rhodey sighed through his nose. "One of these days, Tony, your mouth will get you killed."

Tony grinned. "Not today. What say the three of us get a pizza? It's been a long day of briefings and I'm starved. JARVIS, order a couple of pies for delivery! And beer. We need beer." He padded off in his bare feet, talking to the A.I. Pepper forced herself not to look at his cute toes.

"He really is gonna get himself killed," Rhodey said to her.

"By the things that come out of his mouth? Probably." Pepper sighed. At least Stark Industries didn't have a contract with _that_ country. Tony's mouthiness proved to be so much trouble when he spouted off to the wrong people.

Then again, he did know how to use his mouth in really interesting ways, too. And she hadn't seen him in a while...

"Better order three pizzas, Tony!" she shouted. Give his jaw a workout now, the rest of his mouth later. Maybe he'd be able to take her mind off of dancing on his ashes.


	13. Control Issues

**Control Issues  
**

* * *

Natasha Romanov becomes aware of their relationship very early on. Despite their obvious hostilities toward each other, there is also a great deal of affection and, even more so, love. The fact that Stark and Potts are squabbling doesn't really matter as far as Natasha can tell and she includes the information in her report to Fury.

Fury reads it over and glances at Natasha. "So, Potts wears the pants in the relationship?"

Natasha flips her eyebrow up. "I think they might take turns."

Fury snorts in response. "Keep an eye on them."

She does, as much as she can, doing the kind of job she does. Stark's easier to keep track of, being far more high-profile than Potts. Potts is the one who _notices_ she's being monitored and contacts Natasha directly, inviting her to a lunch.

"So, you've been watching Tony and me," she says, when champagne has been poured and their waiter has their orders and the discreet restaurant noises cover their discussion (as well as the noise-suppressor Natasha wears, in case someone tries to record their conversation). "Mind telling me why?"

Natasha isn't (much) surprised Potts figured it out. She sips at her champagne and considers and discards a great many lies, finally deciding on the truth. "Fury asked me to."

"Why?" Potts is blunt, probably from having to deal with Stark for so long. Cutting through his BS would lead to a lot of bluntness, as far as Natasha is concerned. "I mean, why me?"

Of course, Tony would be easily explained. "He didn't say. But if I had to make a guess – and this is only a guess – I'd say you made an impression."

Potts's brows sweep down in a not-necessarily-pleased way. "I did?"

"You are better at controlling Tony Stark than anyone else, including the military, the press, and Fury."

That makes Potts smirk for a split second though she hides it by tapping her napkin against her mouth. "Is that so?"

"It's in my report," Natasha says with a smirk of her own.

Potts raises her flute and taps it against Natasha's. "To the power of women."

"Here, here." And they drink and enjoy their lunch and if Natasha still keeps an eye on Potts, it's more to keep in touch with a friend.

And, well, Potts might eventually need some help with Stark one day.


	14. Enough

**Enough  
**

* * *

He doesn't know everything about her but that's all right. What he does know is enough. She's strong and reliable and he'd like to have no other person watching his back.

_She knows as much about him as he's willing to tell and more. She's good at reading people and he's an open book, at least to someone like her. What she knows, she likes. What she sees meets her approval._

He knows she's dangerous, an operative from a country at odds with the U.S. He'd tease her that there is precedent for operatives switching sides and she'd give him a blank look, not getting the joke. That's all right, her humor is as deadly a thing as she is herself.

_She doesn't always appreciate his jokes. She's sure not all of them are funny – even to someone who speaks native American (not English; American is something else entirely). It's all right. They have their own shared jokes._

He understands, no matter what happens, she will do her damnedest to get him home safe.

_She understands he will protect her with his life – but that their lives were secondary to the lives of innocents._

On some nights, some quiet, rare nights, they curl up together, skin to skin, breath to breath, sharing each other's warmth. This, he thinks, could be love. She thinks it's something else. They both agree there's no one else they'd rather share with.

It's enough.


	15. Color Negotiations

**Color Negotiations  
**

* * *

"Oh, god," Pepper said, her eyes widening.

"It's great, isn't it?" Tony beamed, his arms spread, obviously expecting applause. Kudos. Something of approval.

Pepper couldn't give it. She turned in a slow circle. "It's...impressive."

Everything in the room was hot rod red and what few things weren't were gold. Pepper hoped not solid gold or gold washed but with Tony Stark, his ego, and his money, she wouldn't place a bet against it.

"You don't like it?" Tony asked. With the pout. _The_ Pout.

Pepper considered and, as she did, she folded her arms. "Remember the giant rabbit?"

The Pout deepened.

"I was hoping neutral colors."

Tony shook his head. "Neutral - pfft. But I'm willing to consider blue. Or green. Maybe," he held up a finger, "and this is a stretch - teal. But only because it's obnoxiously everywhere so it's easy to find."

"Neutral shades, with some accent colors," Pepper counter-offered.

"Can I pick the accent colors?"

How could she say 'no' to those hopeful eyes? "All right...but only two colors!"


End file.
